New Play

I'm writing a play about the invention of tampons in the 1930s.

It's a period piece.

Brown!

A man was talking to his friend at the bar.
The friend said "Did you know that 9 out of 10 women with brown eyes cheat on their husbands?"
"No, I didn't know that." The man replied.
"So what color are your wife's eyes?" asked the friend.
The man replied, "I'm too drunk to remember. Geez, I better go home and find out."
So the man hurries home to find his wife in bed and asleep. The man carefully lifts his wife's eyelid and exclaims, "Oh my God! Brown!"
Suddenly, another man pops out from under the covers and exclaims, "How the hell did you know I was here ?"

Flu?

Blonde walks into a doctor's office, "Doc, I'm horribly sick!"

The doctor looks up at her and asks, "Flu?"

"No, I took the bus."

Lost her in the supermarket

A man approached a very beautiful woman in a large supermarket and said, "I've lost my wife here in the supermarket. Can you talk to me for a couple of minutes?" "Why do you want to talk to me?" she asked puzzled. "Because every time I talk to a beautiful woman, my wife appears out of nowhere."

Counting in binary

Tags:

Q: How easy is it to count in binary?
A: It’s as easy as 01 10 11.

Light bulb joke #5643

Q: How many light bulbs does it take to change a light bulb?

A: They can't; they're not bright enough.

Tech gadgets

Three guys are sitting in a sauna: a Mexican, an Asian, and a white guy. The Mexican and white guy are showing off their new tech gadgets.

The white guy says, "Hey, look what I got: the new Google Glass!" The Mexican & Asian say, "Wow, that's nice, man."

Then the Mexican guy says, "Check out my new cellphone; it's a watch!" The white guy and Asian say, "Very cool, dude."

The Asian guy has nothing to show these guys, so he gets up and walks away naked to to the bathroom. Then he comes back 5 minutes later from the bathroom still naked with paper hanging out of his butt crack. The Mexican and white guy say, "Hey, you have something hanging out of your ass."

The Asian guy says, "Oh look, I'm receiving a Fax!"

Airbags on her computer

Your momma is so stupid she put airbags on her computer in case it crashed.

Dat ass

I named my hard drive "dat ass," so once a month my computer asks if I want to "back dat ass up."

Blonde calculator

Q: Why couldn't the blonde add 10 + 5 on a calculator?
A: She couldn't find the "10" button.

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